Tuesday, July 22, 2008

How to Lose a Softball Game in 4.5 Innings

What's up Slayer fans? I'll tell you what isn't up, our win column. Last night wasn't as much of a heartbreaking game as it was a what-the-hell-just-happened game. The last time SHS took the field against Barkley, really good things happened. This time, however, well... really not-so-good things happened.

To sum up last night, here's How to Lose a Softball Game in 4.5 Innings:
  1. Lose the coin toss -- The Slayers have played 7 games this season and once, just once, have they been the home team. We need to get better at Paper Rock Scissors* for next year. The result last night, away team.
  2. Score one-run in-the-park homers -- PJer (in the first inning) and Coacherson (in the second inning) both had great hits and scooted around the bases with home runs -- the problem is there was nobody else on base when it happened.
  3. Hit pop ups -- This goes against most all conventional wisdom, but if you're trying to lose a game, pop ups will kill you. To make it even worse, hit said pop ups to players that look/act surprised when they catch it. If you need advice on how to do this, ask DeShawn, he'll teach ya.
  4. Fielding errors are your friend -- Bobbles, missed relays, pop-fly pop outs, etc. can get you far when you do them correctly.
  5. Miscommunicate the situation -- Confuse your infield by telling them one play when you meant another. This is a no-brainer.
  6. Be overconfident -- This will be the icing on the cake for your team. After shell-shocking a team 24-2 the previous time, and THEN after watching the same team lose 22-4 BEFORE your game, just be cocky. It helps loads.
It was painful to watch the Slayers last night, but the game wasn't out of hand until the fourth inning. Until that point, it was a great defensive battle. The bad part was that SHS' bats weren't finding the holes it usually does.

Losing the game was not how Linds intended to end her career, "Hi! We sucked tonight. I'm moving to New York. Hi! Look a chicken." She then walked to her father's Lexus and drove away from the fields for the last time.

That wraps up the regular season with the Slayers sitting on a 3-4-1 record -- which shouldn't be too bad, seeing that they split the regular season games with Barkley and Saepio (pending .5 innings), the run difference should have SHS in second place. That is, of course, if the league is interested in keeping scores and standings. Stay tuned.

Next Game: Should be the All-Star game, date and time TBD.

* By the by, PRS is an extremely dumb way to determine home field advantage. If you're making a schedule for the season, it would be very easy to say who is the home team.

1 comment:

Ashlee said...

Wait! You forgot one - make sure that the other team is informed that touching home base is optional. That way, they will be able to jump right over it and still manage to score twice. That is my personal favorite.