Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Nickname Cheatsheet

Coacherson - Seth
King Bunz - Heath
Where My Bitches At - Ben
McShit - Neil
PJer (pee-ger) - JP
"Hey" Craig - Craig
Jerom"eo" - Jerome
The Brazilian - Bruno
Long Toe - Andrew

Auggy - Cindy
The Truth - Paula
WRAM (World Revolves Around Me) - Amy
Number 2 - Lindsay
Zieg Heil - Kelly
Intern '06 - Elizabeth
School Night - Lauren (pending approval)

Cheerleader - Beth
Jage - JJ
Wegs - Matt

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

It Ain't Over Yet! (A Two Game Recap)

Until that fat lady comes out and sings, Slayer Softball is alive and well. After having a game suspended last week (due to lack of daylight), the Slayers took the field Tuesday evening to finish their game with the undefeated Chiefs -- the winner would go on to play at 6:30, the loser... go home with their season over.

Game One

When the game was suspended last week, the Slayers had the big Mo. Things were going well and after four innings, SHS was up 6-4. If you remember, the first meeting between these two teams was very defensive-oriented, with the Chiefs winning 5-3. After home runs from both teams and some stellar defensive play, Bill decided that it was too dark to continue -- the game would be finished another night.

Around rolls Tuesday, the day to finish the game. The situation: SHS is up 6-4, they started in the top of the 5th, both teams have one home run (meaning only one more per team is allowed). Hoping to pick up where they left off, the Slayers went to work and scored a quick two runs (thanks to King Bunz' in the park home run), pushing the lead to 8-4.

When the Chiefs got up to bat, they were done having fun and messing around. They rattled off four runs of their own to tie it up at 8. Fearing another collapse, the Slayers re-grouped and went to bat.

Coacherson turned a botched single into a double to get into scoring position. Number Two popped out and that brought McShit up to bat. He knocked a hit into the outfield and Coacherson scored at home. One run was all the Slayers could muster, and they had the lead 9-8.

Heading into the bottom of the 6th, the Chiefs looked poised to pounce. The first batter came up and knocked a single into center field. The cut off throw came in, but missed his mark and all of a sudden, dude was running from first to second. Coacherson grabbed the ball and slung it to Auggy -- who caught it, turned and tagged the guy out! Play of the mother f'in game!

After another out and some hits, the Chiefs had two runners on base and Bill calls out that the time has expired and that if the Chiefs don't score here, the game was over. The Chiefs batter comes up and takes a pitch for strike one. The second pitch she hits, but it goes foul... strike two. McShit tosses the ball and again she makes contact. The ball dribbles towards McShit, who picks it up and fires it to Coacherson at first. Game over! SHS beats the best team in the league 9-8!!!

With that win, the Slayers now sat at 6-4 on the season and found themselves in the Final Four and having to play again 10 minutes later.

Game Two

The Slayers were most high from their previous win and having to face BR again (BR rallied from four down to tie the game, and eventually went on to win in extra innings earlier in the season) only made the next game even sweeter.

Having the worse regular season record, the Slayers were the away team -- so they started the game at the plate. BR, on the other hand, didn't seem to show up at all. The pitcher was throwing so poorly that all 10 batting Slayers scored in the first inning. It's one thing to play softball and not swing at pitches to hopefully get a walk (this is cheap), but it's another thing to not be able to swing at anything (that's not the batter's fault). So before I knew it, SHS was up 12-0 after the top of the first inning (due to walks, some hits and another King Bunz in the park home run).

BR wasn't going to give up too easily, though. And they roared back to score six of their own in the bottom of the first. But here's where it gets interesting... BR seemed a bit put off that SHS was taking so many walks, so they weren't swinging at anything either (this is foreshadowing).

In the top of the second, Coacherson turned another single into a double and McShit knocked him in for the Slayers' only score that inning. SHS was now ahead 13-6. BR, still under the idea of not swinging, scored none.

The top of the third was more of the same for the Slayers and BR. SHS scored one and BR none, so after three SHS was ahead 14-6.

Inning number four was a good one for the Slayers -- even though King Bunz left the game hurt after hitting his third in the park home run (grand slam style). With four more runs tacked on, and BR doing nothing at the plate for the third inning in a row, the Slayers were now up 18-6.

Now things begin to get interesting. BR replaced their faulty pitcher midway through the first inning, for good reason. The new pitcher was in hurry mode and was pitching pretty quickly -- so quickly, sometimes, that Bill didn't even see the pitch thrown and/or would tell the guy to slow down. In addition, since BR was taking so many pitches, bad moods were starting to pile up.

In the top of the fifth, "Hey" Craig punished the ball and went yard, 19-6. Zieg Hile smashed a shot over the left fielder's head and wound up with a double. Coacherson hit one to the warning track for out number one. Number Two grounded for out number two. McShit comes up and it now becomes a pitchers duel. The BR pitcher gets way behind in the count 3-0 and as any smart batter would do, if you have 3 balls and no strikes, you take the next pitch. Well McShit didn't have that chance since the pitcher rolled the ball to home plate... rolled it. Words were exchanged and now the bases were loaded (when a guy walks, the next batter walks, too), with two outs.

PJer comes up and Bill makes the announcment that if SHS scores two more runs that means they'll be ahead by 15 and the mercy rule will be in effect, giving the Slayers the win. PJer knocked the pitch into the outfield and the Slayers scored two. Bill called the game, Slayers win 21-6!!!

The game ended in controversy, however. With the home team not being able to complete the inning, the mercy rule probably shouldn't have been put into effect. I'd like to think that Billma (the Ad League Softball version of Karma) came up since some of the BR players weren't being good sports.

Controversy or not, the Slayers are going to the Championship game. Now sporting a record of 7-4, SHS really seems to be gelling at the right time of the year. Please, come out and support the Slayers as they try to become the champs of the ad league!

Championship Game: Monday, August 28th at 6:30.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Fairweather Historian?

Is the Slayer season over? Did they win their last two games of the year? Did you die in a horrible car accident where you crashed into a truck transporting glass eyes to and from Albuquerque, NM?

The answers to those questions: no, no and no.

It's true, I've been slacking as of late in the history-telling department. For that I apologize. It might've been the heat, but really it was the lack of will to report on the most recent games. Why is that, you ask? Because it seems that the Slayers have developed a knack of melting down at the end of games...

Case in Point #1: In the most highly anticipated game of the year (for Coacherson), SHS took the field against VML. Luckily for the Slayers, VML had just finished playing a game, therefore they were tired. SHS came out hot, but slowly let VML back in the game as they went ahead 10-8 going into the bottom of the last inning. SHS mustered up 3 straight outs to lose the game. A hard fought victory for VML.

Case in Point #2: As if fate was tempting SHS to win a close game, they were pitted against BR in a rescheduled game from earlier in the season. Once again, the Slayers were playing a team that had just played a game, so they should've been ripe for the plucking. Going into the bottom of the last inning, SHS was up by 4 runs... and then the meltdown occurred. BR came back to tie the game, sending it into extra innings. The Slayers scored one run in the top half, but they couldn't stop BR from getting 2 more in the bottom. The result, BR won 11-10.

So the Slayers ended the regular season 4-4. Not a horrible record, but they could've easily been 7-1 if they could have closed out some games. Taking a .500 record into the postseason isn't a bad thing, though... if you think about it, MLB teams would be ecstatic to be .500. The Slayers want more, though, and they would get their chance in their tournament against Barkley Evergreen Team 1 (a team they beat 9-6 during the regular season).

(Historian's Note: Some details are a bit hazy due to post-game activities)

With the most fans to ever attend a Slayer softball game, SHS took the field first (since they had the better record, they were automatically the home team)... and from the get go, they weren't messing around -- Coacherson had them fired up. After some stellar defense the Slayers were trotting back to the dugout with the score 0-0.

The defense was hot, and their bats were even hotter. PJer had a massive hit barely make it to third base, but he beat the throw -- one duck on the pond. Then The Truth got on base (was it a walk?) leaving two ducks on the pond for King Bunz (second place in this year's home run derby). Bunz made contact and due to some fine coaching from "Hey" Craig and Jerom"eo," the Slayers were up 2-0. With the King on base, Where My Bitches At stepped up to the plate and cracked one over the right fielders head. The coaches sent him and soon enough he had himself an in the park home run. SHS was on top 4-0.

Coming off of a win on Tuesday night, BEAP1 wasn't ready to lay down and go out quietly. With two outs and the bases loaded, they scrapped and scored two runs... and then "the tackle" happened. Already back to the top of the lineup, the second baseman for BEAP comes up to the plate. She hits a blooper that lands nearly on the line between first and home plate. As she's running to first, McShit charged for the ball to throw her out. She began to stumble (or so McShit says) and as he's reaching for the ball, McShit tackled her they collide. Nothing happened for about five seconds until McShit grabbed the ball -- which was still in fair play -- and tagged her. Bill called her out and the Slayers escaped a dangerous inning, still up 4-2.

After a marvelous play, it was McShit's turn to bat... and he strikes out. Yes, strikes out. That didn't bode well for the Slayers, it was a three-up, three-down inning. Then BEAP1 came alive and scored four runs to take the lead, 6-4.

Back at the top of the lineup, the Slayers pounced. After four of the first five batters scored, Coacherson knocked a single to that sent Where My Bitches Out home. Stuck on first, Number 2 came up and hit a ball right to the shortstop. Knowing the force was coming, Coacherson got a good step on the ball and rattled the shortstop -- he threw it, but it was already too late, Coacherson somehow ended up on the ground, safe. "He's not happy unless he gets dirty... and boy is he dirty," exclaimed The Truth.

With two outs and both Coacherson and Number 2 on base, McShit got his revenge. "Didn't this guy strike out last time," asked the second basemen that McShit tackled ran into. He didn't strike out this time, he hit an inside the park home run. That stellar inning left SHS up 11-6.

Then a mini-meltdown started to happen. McShit walked two guys allowing some runs to score. But the Slayers were strong and held their ground, only letting BEAP1 to score three runs. 11-9.

Again at the top of the lineup, the first seven batters scored. McShit hit another in the park home run and the Slayers were in control 20-9. Since that was the bottom of the fourth inning, the mercy rule wasn't in effect (the game is called if a team is up 15 after three innings, or 10 after five).

Looking to cruise through the rest of the game, the Slayers may have taken their edge off a little bit... and that's when they dropped their guard completely. A missed catch here, an overthrow there, miscommunication galore... errors were being tossed around like shots from the Jager Fairy. The ship was sinking and it looked like the bats were going to have to come back out to secure a win. Then Bill said that the time limit had expired, so if the Slayers were up at the end of the inning, they won. The score was now 20-17, there were two outs and BEAP1 had two runners on base. A guy came up to the plate and crushed the ball into left center field. "Hey" Craig started to float left, but quickly had to turn on some jets to get to the right spot... he slowed down, reached out, and snagged the ball for the final out of the game.


It was an extremely hard fought match, but the Slayers prevailed against the odds they dealt themselves. The SHS ring-leader, Jage, took the team out to celebrate afterwards, knowing that the worst the Slayers could end up as is a .500 team.

Next Up: The Chiefs, 7:00 Tuesday night. Think SHS has a chance? You bet they do... the Slayers held them to their lowest offensive output all season in an extremely close game.