Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Slayers Begin Tourney with a Win

The last time we saw the Slayer team in action, they had just lost to Barkley. The time before that, they had lost to VML. Even though their record was good enough to give them the 2nd seed in the Monday Division Tournament, the SHS truck was puttering into the garage. Their opponent was TopCat, a team they had beaten earlier in the year 12-7. But as time has told us with the Slayers, you never know what team is going to show up to play.

Being 2nd seed helped SHS be home team for just the second time this season, so the Slayers hit the field first. Looking at the mound, a familiar face had come home. That's right, McShit was back and started the night off. A couple of well-placed hits by TopCat and some rusty pitching by McShit put the Slayer in a 3-0 hole going into the bottom of the first.

PJer didn't think that was cool. "That's not cool," he said. So he did something about it, he smacked an inside-the-park home run to get SHS' players and fans excited. "I'm so pumped right now," exclaimed Babby. Unfortunately, the rest of the inning didn't fare as well. The remaining batters couldn't score DeShawn and Gimmie, so heading into the second inning, TopCat was up 3-1.

It was time to play defense. But once again, the Slayers found themselves in trouble -- 0 outs and the bases loaded. The next hit popped up behind second base and PJer easily scooted over for the catch and winged it in to McShit. In a bizarre base-running twist, the TopCat player on third thought they would sneak a run in -- but McShit was too fast and caught them. It was a Slayer double-play. Still with two people on base, TopCats' best hitter came up and slammed one into deep left-center. With Coacherson and DeShawn having fully scouted the player, the defense was set up in the right position. DeShawn took about 5 steps back and caught the ball for the third out.

The bottom of the second inning looked to be more of the same faultering hitting performances by SHS. Ogre popped out, 4 Beers grounded out, which left McShit up to bat. Needing something to get the Slayers going, McShit did something he's never done before. He took a walk. That put him and Tabby on base and brought PJer up to bat. PJer smacked a double and scored two runs. Then The Truth crushed a triple and DeShawn hit a double to score another run. After two full innings, SHS was up 5-3.

The third inning was pretty much a wash as both teams had close to three-up, three-down at bats. Ogre hit a triple for the Slayers, but other than that, nothing exciting happened.

The fourth inning was more of the same on defense for SHS. A hit went to Cap'n Bits, who turned and got a force out at second, then PJer rifled the ball over to 4 Beers for a double play. The Slayers were on fire defensively, which turned into four MORE runs in the bottom of the fourth. That brought the score to 9-3 heading into the fifth.

The announcement was made that there was only 12 minutes left in regulation. With only a six run lead, the Slayers were poised to either win or have another fabulous meltdown. TopCat didn't ease up, either. Working hard to keep people off base, a ball was smacked into right-center field. Coacherson saw it all happening in slow motion.

"So there I was in left-center. We had shifted over to hopefully cut off the left-handed hitter. The ball was hit. Hard. It was rocketing towards the fence. I knew it wasn't a home run, but it was a great hit. I saw The Truth and Hightower converging towards the ball, but neither of them were going to get it. 'Shit, that's probably a triple,' I said. The Truth was yelling at Hightower to 'get back, get back.' DeShawn could do nothing from left field. But then, Hightower (who was 250 squats stronger from the day prior) was running... no... galloping towards the ball. A full-speed Hightower reached out with his mitt (which looks more like a giant paw on him) and plucked the ball from the air. Just plucked it. And saved the game with that catch. What an f'ing catch."

After that, no one really knew what was going on. And before we knew it, the game was over and the Slayers were advancing to the Monday Division Championship game.

Next Game: SHS vs VML, Monday, August 18 @ 6:30.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

How to Lose a Softball Game in 4.5 Innings

What's up Slayer fans? I'll tell you what isn't up, our win column. Last night wasn't as much of a heartbreaking game as it was a what-the-hell-just-happened game. The last time SHS took the field against Barkley, really good things happened. This time, however, well... really not-so-good things happened.

To sum up last night, here's How to Lose a Softball Game in 4.5 Innings:
  1. Lose the coin toss -- The Slayers have played 7 games this season and once, just once, have they been the home team. We need to get better at Paper Rock Scissors* for next year. The result last night, away team.
  2. Score one-run in-the-park homers -- PJer (in the first inning) and Coacherson (in the second inning) both had great hits and scooted around the bases with home runs -- the problem is there was nobody else on base when it happened.
  3. Hit pop ups -- This goes against most all conventional wisdom, but if you're trying to lose a game, pop ups will kill you. To make it even worse, hit said pop ups to players that look/act surprised when they catch it. If you need advice on how to do this, ask DeShawn, he'll teach ya.
  4. Fielding errors are your friend -- Bobbles, missed relays, pop-fly pop outs, etc. can get you far when you do them correctly.
  5. Miscommunicate the situation -- Confuse your infield by telling them one play when you meant another. This is a no-brainer.
  6. Be overconfident -- This will be the icing on the cake for your team. After shell-shocking a team 24-2 the previous time, and THEN after watching the same team lose 22-4 BEFORE your game, just be cocky. It helps loads.
It was painful to watch the Slayers last night, but the game wasn't out of hand until the fourth inning. Until that point, it was a great defensive battle. The bad part was that SHS' bats weren't finding the holes it usually does.

Losing the game was not how Linds intended to end her career, "Hi! We sucked tonight. I'm moving to New York. Hi! Look a chicken." She then walked to her father's Lexus and drove away from the fields for the last time.

That wraps up the regular season with the Slayers sitting on a 3-4-1 record -- which shouldn't be too bad, seeing that they split the regular season games with Barkley and Saepio (pending .5 innings), the run difference should have SHS in second place. That is, of course, if the league is interested in keeping scores and standings. Stay tuned.

Next Game: Should be the All-Star game, date and time TBD.

* By the by, PRS is an extremely dumb way to determine home field advantage. If you're making a schedule for the season, it would be very easy to say who is the home team.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Grudge Match

Another week down, another Slayer Softball game played. This week it was a grudge match, VML. It's been almost two years since SHS has handed VML a loss and many of the players were looking to turn that trend around.

"I've heard a lot about this rivalry, how exciting," exclaimed Boy Intern. "Good luck without me, I'm a wuss."

So without Boy Intern, the Slayers set their lineup and took the field against the 5-0 VML. Once again, SHS proved their un-worthiness in Paper/Rock/Scissors and fell victim to the gods. VML won home field advantage, Slayers were visitors -- which meant our bats were first.

The first inning started out with a bang as PJer hit a shot into right center that the VML fielder botched -- allowing PJer to scoot over to third base. The Truth slammed a single. DeShawn hit a double. And Coacherson hit a double to set the score at 3-0 after one half inning. VML took to their bats and after a nice defensive effort (minus a lousy triple and a solo shot), SHS led 3-2 after one.

The second inning provided little fanfare for either team as the score remained 3-2 going into the third inning. Unfortunately, SHS' bats wouldn't wake up in the third inning, either. But again, after a nice defensive effort, the score was 4-3 going into the fourth with VML on top.

In the fourth, Ogre showed what he could do with his bat by crushing the ball all the way to the fence for a triple. Fortunately, Bendy scored him on a single and the Slayers had the game tied, 4-4, going into the bottom of the fourth.

With two outs in the inning, Fire decided that she needed to give SHS a spark. For the third out, Fire took a throw at first base and then tackled the baserunner -- or was it that the VML baserunner tackled her? Either way, there was nearly a scuffle as DeShawn was in the mix making sure that it "wasn't cool" for a big dude to tackle a girl.

"Let's see if they like Black Magic tackling them," yelled an angry DeShawn.

WRAM asked, "What the hell does that mean?"

No one on the team could answer her as only DeShawn understood what that meant, but we all agreed. VML needed to go down.

Heading into the top of the 5th inning, the Slayers were down 7-4 and needed to get some runs badly. Things didn't start out well as both PJer and The Truth hit fly outs. Knowing what had to be done, DeShawn took a walk so that SHS could have baserunners. With he and (a battered and bruised) Fire on base, Coacherson again hit a double to draw the score 7-6.

Then the wheels fell off of SHS' softball bus. The defense fell apart and VML took advantage to score 6 more runs, making the score 13-6. The Slayers had one more change to get some runs in the top of the sixth inning, but a 1-2-3 inning wasn't going to do it.

VML, once again, topped SHS. They could possibly meet up in the season-end tourney, and maybe then SHS can snap the streak.

Next Game: SHS vs Barkley, Monday, July 21st @ 8:30

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Blast Off

It's your good ol' Slayer Softball Historian reporting in after last night's game. Before it even started, there was some turmoil about when the game would actually start. After some discussion, and another game being rescheduled, it was decided that SHS would play at the originally scheduled time.

Losing the PRS (paper rock scissors) this time was Cap'n Bits, which meant for the fourth time this season, the Slayers were the visiting team. Going up to bat first, PJer wasted no time in showing Barkley who wanted to win more by hitting an in-the-park home run. The Truth got a basehit and so did DeShawn. Fire walked and Coacherson hit into a ground play. WRAM, Ogre and PT all singled and the Slayers were quickly up 3-0 going into the bottom of the first.

The defense was set up in the usual spot this week and we had a new pitcher (Cap'n Bits) due to Bendy being out. Playing superb defense after allowing a few hits to squeeze through, the Slayers were up 3-1 after one.

Back to the top of the lineup after Linds grounded out, JP popped out and then The Truth got another single. DeShawn took a walk (which loaded the bases) and Coacherson fought his instincts to take a walk, too. After clamping down defensively, the Slayers were up 5-1 after two.

The third inning wasn't as rewarding for SHS, but after a few walks and singles, Coacherson hit a line drive double to score DeShawn -- and also provided Fire with a chance to eat shit dive into third.

After the slide, the fans in the dugout had this to say, "what the f!?!" What the f indeed. But hey, she was safe. Another superb defensive bottom half, and the Slayers were up 6-1 after three. That's when SHS got a pep talk from the oddest of characters...

In between eating grass and ice cubes, GrassPlease tore into the Slayers, "ruff ruff, bark bark, ruff." In other words, she was sick of our weak hitting.

SHS responded. PT got a single. Cap'n Bits walked. With the bases loaded, PJer hit a double. The Truth singled. DeShawn walked. Fire walked. Boy Intern doubled. WRAM singled. Ogre singled. And then, the first out of the inning occurred. After that Cap'n Bits doubled. Linds fought off a rude smacktalk to hit a single. Then PJer went yard. The Truth doubled. DeShawn did something and after that we all were going crazy, because going into the bottom of the fourth inning, Slayers were up 24-1.

Yes. 24-1.

The last half inning was a blur. Barkley scored one run. SHS stopped them after that and what do you know, Slayers win! Slayers win!!! They murdered Barkley 24-2. They sit at 3-1-1 on the season. Two games and one half-inning to go until the tournament.

Next Game: GRUDGE MATCH, SHS vs VML, Monday, July 14th @ 8:30

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Slayers Top TopCats 12-7

Apologies for the non-post last week, but the game isn't officially over yet. Shaggy (the umpire) missed a run that we scored and thought the game was over. He said we'd have to make it up at some point later in the season. For now, the game doesn't count against anyone's record. Stay tuned.

Last night's game, however, does count as a win for your fellow Slayers. SHS jumped all over TopCat for a fairly easy 12-7 win -- and that was AFTER TopCat had to borrow two interns to complete their roster. No worries, the Slayers had more than enough players to fill out the roster.

For the first time all season, SHS was the home team (thanks to Gimmie's righteous Paper Rock Scissors play) and the Slayers didn't disappoint. After allowing TopCat to score a run, the Slayers went to work with their bats. PJer and The Truth got on base only for DeShawn to score them both with an in-the-park home run. Then after few ground outs and a double by Coacherson, SHS was up 3-1 after one.

Trying out a new defensive scheme for the game, the hits and runs for TopCat were few and far between. Which was good, since the Slayers were looking to hit some more. Here are the game's highlights:

  • Ogre caught a ball deep in Left, threw to PJer for the relay and then on to Bendy for a tag out at home.
  • Number 2 hit a double that turned into a triple that turned into an in-the-park home run.
  • Boy Intern played manager and inserted himself into the game, promptly makes a catch in the outfield from a ball that was hit so extremely high that Ogre had time to run over from Center Field to back him up.
  • All of the girl Slayers' bats were smokin'. Grass. Lots of it.
  • Fans included Fritz, Pits and Ash. Oh, and Number 2 Dad.
For the final out of the game, The Truth backed up a throw to 4 Beers and nailed a guy at home. And that pretty much sums up how the Slayers' latest win went. They were in control the whole game and never felt truly threatened by TopCat.

Next Game: SHS vs Barkley, Monday, July 7th @ 8:30

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Slayer Softball Season Begins with Doubleheader

It's been over a year since the Slayers took the field for softball and I'll tell you what, folks, it was a highly-anticipated year. SHS warmed up for softball this year with a jaunt in the kickball world. After placing second in the league, all attention was turned towards softball.

Bad news: No Bill the umpire this year. It's too hot for the old man. We'll miss him.
More bad news: The Slayers had to start off the year with a doubleheader.

So what happened?

Game one: SHS vs. Saepio
I wish I could say that the Slayers gave a warm welcome to Saepio in their first year of ad league softball, but that wasn't about to happen. Coming up to bat first, PJer and The Truth got on base via a walk. Then DeShawn and Black Magic went to work by knocking one out of the park. That's right, home run. The Slayers ended the first half of the inning up 3-0. Saepio came up and managed to score two runs, making the score 3-2.

At this point, the Slayer defense locked down. Hard. DeShawn and WRAM hooked up for a double-play. 4Beers made many plays at first. And Bendy took the reins from McShit (he's hurt, or something) and emerged as the SHS pitcher for this summer. Boy Intern even made a nice one-handed scoop in the outfield. The cylinders were a-clickin'.

With 11 guys signed up to play, there was quite a bit of shuffling going on in the line up. Everyone got to play, or bat, and SHS won their first game of the season, 13-2. As a reward for the win, SHS had to play again, just 10 minutes later.

Game two: SHS vs VML
All of the bats that were poppin' for SHS in the first game suddenly came to a stop in their second game. Additionally, all of the hoppin' defense was starting to crumble a bit, too.

The Slayers fell behind early 3-0 due to VML's bats finding holes and superb baserunning, but SHS wasn't out of it yet. An in-the-park home run by White Chocolate kept the Slayers in it.

Ultimately, the fielding errors combined with poor hitting and VML taking advantage of things did SHS in. They lost the game 10-5.

So the Slayers are 1-1 on the season and VML is once again the go-to rival for the team. Your Slayer Softball Historian apologizes for the lack of detailed reporting -- two games are hard to keep up with.

Next Game: SHS vs Saepio (yes, again), Monday, June 23rd @ 7:30