Slashers Scoop NBC Action News

Sorry there wasn’t an update last week. We’ll break it down in 4 sentences or less.

Down 9-4 going into the last inning vs. Chiefs. Rally caps work and we tie 9-9 to push it to extra innings. We hold in our half so all we need is one run and we win. Ogre scores on a hit by Grunts but is called out at home because the ump said he had to slide at home on a close play (even though that’s not in the rules) and we tie 9-9. Lame.

Now on to this week that saw the Slashers take on NBC Action News. Our luck ran out as we lost the coin toss for the third time in four weeks so our bats were up first.

It’s been pretty common for the Slashers to start hot on offense and this week was no different. PJer scored on DeShawn’s RBI double. Coacherson knocked in DeShawn and The Truth on his own RBI double making it 3-0. WRAM and Hembo both had base hits with WRAM scoring on MeShell’s sacrifice and Hembo scoring on Jason’s RBI single.

The Slasher defense set the tone early holding NBC scoreless by ending the inning on a sweet running catch by Ogre in left. First inning score: 6-0 Slashers.

The 2nd inning started pretty but didn’t go quite as smoothly offense. PJer led the inning off with a solid double to center. DeShawn plated him with a bomb to right center field for the first Slasher outside-the-park homerun of the year. Coacherson followed that up with an in-the-park homerun of his own when he slid safely into home while opening that nasty gash on his shin for the 3rd time this season. Gross.

NBC got some clutch hitting, bringing home 4 runs to make it a ballgame. A nice catch by Misty on a foul ball held it to 4 in the inning. 2nd inning score: 9-4 Slashers.

The 3rd inning started with a bang with Hembo hitting a ball into the right field gap and coming all the way around to score on the Slashers 3rd homerun of the game. Some solid NBC defense forced our next 3 players to get out, ending our half of the inning.

The defense was once again solid, highlighted by a couple nice connections by PJer and Beardo to hold NBC to no runs in the 3rd. 3rd inning score 10-4 Slashers.

The bats were again extremely quiet for the next two innings as the Slashers saw only 1 run come in in both the 4th and 5th innings. Julie scored on DeShawn’s double in the 4th with Hembo coming in on Ogre’s single in the 5th.

NBC added three in the 4th but scored none in the 5th. 5th inning score: 12-7.

The Slashers needed some runs in the 6th to put the game out of reach and they did just that scoring 5 runs to open up their lead in the top half of the 6th. Julie scored on DeShawn’s RBI double. Reality knocked in The Truth and DeShawn with a single to right field. Coacherson redeemed himself by ripping one into right field and then scoring on Hembo’s single and the Slashers lead was pushed to 17-7.

NBC scored two runs of their own but it wasn’t enough as the Slasher’s record improved to 3-0-1. Final score: 17-9 Slashers.

Guy MVP: Hembo – 4-for-4, narrowly missing hitting for the cycle and remaining undefeated on the mound.
Gal MVP: The Truth – 3-for-4 with the solid outfield play she puts out every time we take the field.
Camo Beer Pop-up of the game: This was a no-doubter. Coacherson sent a ball to the sun that came down to the shortstop with the bases loaded to end the 4th inning.

Big props to Julie and Misty for filling in for us. You two rock. Pat on the back for Reality for pushing the first baseman down in defense of MeShell. MeShell also gets props for playing through the pain of a softball off the knee last week. Thank you to Pits for keeping the book. Pits’ friend Jamie and Smashlee for cheering us on.

Next game vs. Saepio @ 9:00 p.m. Wednesday. Be there to slash with your blades.

Slashers' win NOT featured on radio.

Week 2 saw the Slashers take on 810 sports radio in ad league softball action. There were quite a few lineup changes this week as Hembo was on the hill returning from anniversary, year one. Ogre graced us with his presence after bailing out last week. And Frisk and Reality turned in their V cards from Legally Blonde the musical to assist in the quest for victory.

Once again we came out on the short side of rocks, paper, scissors and were saddled with the role of visitors.

The first inning saw the Slashers continue their recent hot offensive streak. A nice two-out rally saw Coacherson, WRAM, Ogre, Reality, Hembo, MeShell, and PJer get seven straight hits to plate seven Slasher runs for a more-than-solid first inning. 810 got three runs of their own on an absolute bomb to center field, but the defense held for the rest of the inning. 1st inning Score: 7-3 Slashers.

The second inning went much like the first as DeShawn started the inning with a two-bagger and came home on Coacherson’s RBI double. A nice play by 810 on WRAM gave the Slashers two outs with only two runs in. But 2-out-rallies were on our side as Ogre, Reality, Hembo, MeShell, and PJer all scored to bust the game wide open. It could have been worse but DeShawn’s home run trot on a not-so-homerun hit only got him a double to keep the Slashers from scoring two more. 810’s hitting and the Slasher’s lack of communication on defense (sorry Frisk, our bad) brought seven runs home. 2nd inning score: 15-10 Slashers.

Bad things usually come in 3’s and the third inning was no different. The offenses for both teams completely shut down. Coacherson scored the only Slasher run on Ogre’s popup to left. 810 didn’t fare much better as a pop fly and a nice inning-ending double-play by Coacherson ensured another inning would be played. 3rd inning score 16-10 Slashers.

The bats reappeared in the 4th as MeShell, PJer, Paula, DeShawn and Coacherson all scored to make it an 11 run lead and an almost assured ad league win. 810 came back with just one run of their own and the Slashers walked away with a 2-0 record to begin league play. Final score: 21-11 Slashers

Guy MVP: Coacherson – 4-for-4 and scored each time he came to the plate. Also had a very nice double play in the 3rd.
Gal MVP: MeShell – 2-for-2 with 2 RBI and a walk.
Camo beer of the game: DeShawn for his skyscraping pop-up that didn’t reach the outfield.

Also, big thanks to Pits for keeping score. Smashlee, Babby, and Baby Babby for Fanning us on. And Grunts and Beardo for not being dicks about us not getting you in the game. Again, our bad. Won’t happen again.

Next game vs. Chiefs @ 7:00 p.m. Wednesday. All you fans of the slash be sure to be there. Or else.

New Season Begins

Change comes with every new season of Ad League softball and we'd be fooling ourselves if this season was going to be any different. There's usually a few new teams. There's almost always a new umpire (since Bill isn't umping anymore). And there's always, ALWAYS, roster additions and subtractions. But this year, there's also a big change with our team name -- this season we're called the Slashers. New name + new additions on the roster = new results? Like, maybe, a championship? Time will tell.

So, last night the new season of Slasher softball started against our cross-Crossroads/Downtown rival, NK. We have a very storied history with NK, not just in softball, but in kickball, too. To say that we were amp'd for the first game of the season against them would be a tinsy lie.

The Slashers lost the coin toss so they were designated the away team. Coacherson issued the lineup and it was time to play. There were a lot of new faces in the Slasher lineup with Smashlee, B, and Meshell making their collective softball debuts.

This is where the facts get a little murky as the scorebook is not in front of me so this is how it may or may not have played out.

Much like last year, the slashers started off the first inning with a bang. 7 straight hits to begin the inning put the Slashers up 7-0 on MeShell’s sacrifice RBI. McShit quickly followed that up by driving in another run to make the score 8-0. Only a leaping catch by NK’s shortstop on a liner by PJer could slow down the offense and end the top half of the first inning.

A few first inning jitters and some leaky defense led to NK plating 9 runs in their half of the inning to go up 9-8 in what could only be described as a defenseless first inning.

The Slashers came back with 3 runs in the top of the second, two of which came on Coacherson’s 2 RBI sac fly that plated The Truth and DeShawn. Historical fact: This is the first documented 2 RBI sac fly in Slasher history. Beardo’s Heath Kennedy-style (falling on his ass) catch allowed NK to only get 4 runs of their own to give them 12-11 lead after two innings.

The 3rd inning was the turning point in a pivotal stretch in the season’s first game. The bats stayed alive with McShit, Smashlee, PJer, The Truth, and B all scoring to give the Slashers 5 more runs in the top half. Some stellar defense, including an over the shoulder catch by PJer held NK to just 1 run and gave the Slashers a 17-13 lead going into the final inning.

McShit helped himself out leading the inning off the 4th with the first round-tripper of the year, making the score 18-13. 2 more runs came in and built the lead to 20-13 that was nearly more as WRAM drove 3 foul balls down the third baseline that were just barely foul.

Needing 7 runs to tie, NK came out swinging. The first 2 runners in the inning scored as the nerves set in for everyone except The Truth. A running, shoestring catch by the veteran outfielder got the Slashers their first out. A double by NK scored a run and made the score 20-16. The next batter dribbled one to short for the second out that put the Slashers one out away from their first victory of the season. A deep drive into center field looked like trouble but The Truth would not be denied and made a leaping catch to end the game and secure the W.

So the Slashers are 1-0 and will take the field against a TBD opponent at a not-so-specific time next Wednesday night. Congrats to all and special thanks to B and Smashlee for filling in and doing a kick-ass job.

Slayers Begin Tourney with a Win

The last time we saw the Slayer team in action, they had just lost to Barkley. The time before that, they had lost to VML. Even though their record was good enough to give them the 2nd seed in the Monday Division Tournament, the SHS truck was puttering into the garage. Their opponent was TopCat, a team they had beaten earlier in the year 12-7. But as time has told us with the Slayers, you never know what team is going to show up to play.

Being 2nd seed helped SHS be home team for just the second time this season, so the Slayers hit the field first. Looking at the mound, a familiar face had come home. That's right, McShit was back and started the night off. A couple of well-placed hits by TopCat and some rusty pitching by McShit put the Slayer in a 3-0 hole going into the bottom of the first.

PJer didn't think that was cool. "That's not cool," he said. So he did something about it, he smacked an inside-the-park home run to get SHS' players and fans excited. "I'm so pumped right now," exclaimed Babby. Unfortunately, the rest of the inning didn't fare as well. The remaining batters couldn't score DeShawn and Gimmie, so heading into the second inning, TopCat was up 3-1.

It was time to play defense. But once again, the Slayers found themselves in trouble -- 0 outs and the bases loaded. The next hit popped up behind second base and PJer easily scooted over for the catch and winged it in to McShit. In a bizarre base-running twist, the TopCat player on third thought they would sneak a run in -- but McShit was too fast and caught them. It was a Slayer double-play. Still with two people on base, TopCats' best hitter came up and slammed one into deep left-center. With Coacherson and DeShawn having fully scouted the player, the defense was set up in the right position. DeShawn took about 5 steps back and caught the ball for the third out.

The bottom of the second inning looked to be more of the same faultering hitting performances by SHS. Ogre popped out, 4 Beers grounded out, which left McShit up to bat. Needing something to get the Slayers going, McShit did something he's never done before. He took a walk. That put him and Tabby on base and brought PJer up to bat. PJer smacked a double and scored two runs. Then The Truth crushed a triple and DeShawn hit a double to score another run. After two full innings, SHS was up 5-3.

The third inning was pretty much a wash as both teams had close to three-up, three-down at bats. Ogre hit a triple for the Slayers, but other than that, nothing exciting happened.

The fourth inning was more of the same on defense for SHS. A hit went to Cap'n Bits, who turned and got a force out at second, then PJer rifled the ball over to 4 Beers for a double play. The Slayers were on fire defensively, which turned into four MORE runs in the bottom of the fourth. That brought the score to 9-3 heading into the fifth.

The announcement was made that there was only 12 minutes left in regulation. With only a six run lead, the Slayers were poised to either win or have another fabulous meltdown. TopCat didn't ease up, either. Working hard to keep people off base, a ball was smacked into right-center field. Coacherson saw it all happening in slow motion.

"So there I was in left-center. We had shifted over to hopefully cut off the left-handed hitter. The ball was hit. Hard. It was rocketing towards the fence. I knew it wasn't a home run, but it was a great hit. I saw The Truth and Hightower converging towards the ball, but neither of them were going to get it. 'Shit, that's probably a triple,' I said. The Truth was yelling at Hightower to 'get back, get back.' DeShawn could do nothing from left field. But then, Hightower (who was 250 squats stronger from the day prior) was running... no... galloping towards the ball. A full-speed Hightower reached out with his mitt (which looks more like a giant paw on him) and plucked the ball from the air. Just plucked it. And saved the game with that catch. What an f'ing catch."

After that, no one really knew what was going on. And before we knew it, the game was over and the Slayers were advancing to the Monday Division Championship game.

Next Game: SHS vs VML, Monday, August 18 @ 6:30.

How to Lose a Softball Game in 4.5 Innings

What's up Slayer fans? I'll tell you what isn't up, our win column. Last night wasn't as much of a heartbreaking game as it was a what-the-hell-just-happened game. The last time SHS took the field against Barkley, really good things happened. This time, however, well... really not-so-good things happened.

To sum up last night, here's How to Lose a Softball Game in 4.5 Innings:

1. Lose the coin toss -- The Slayers have played 7 games this season and once, just once, have they been the home team. We need to get better at Paper Rock Scissors* for next year. The result last night, away team.
2. Score one-run in-the-park homers -- PJer (in the first inning) and Coacherson (in the second inning) both had great hits and scooted around the bases with home runs -- the problem is there was nobody else on base when it happened.
3. Hit pop ups -- This goes against most all conventional wisdom, but if you're trying to lose a game, pop ups will kill you. To make it even worse, hit said pop ups to players that look/act surprised when they catch it. If you need advice on how to do this, ask DeShawn, he'll teach ya.
4. Fielding errors are your friend -- Bobbles, missed relays, pop-fly pop outs, etc. can get you far when you do them correctly.
5. Miscommunicate the situation -- Confuse your infield by telling them one play when you meant another. This is a no-brainer.
   
6. Be overconfident -- This will be the icing on the cake for your team. After shell-shocking a team 24-2 the previous time, and THEN after watching the same team lose 22-4 BEFORE your game, just be cocky. It helps loads.
   

It was painful to watch the Slayers last night, but the game wasn't out of hand until the fourth inning. Until that point, it was a great defensive battle. The bad part was that SHS' bats weren't finding the holes it usually does.

Losing the game was not how Linds intended to end her career, "Hi! We sucked tonight. I'm moving to New York. Hi! Look a chicken." She then walked to her father's Lexus and drove away from the fields for the last time.

That wraps up the regular season with the Slayers sitting on a 3-4-1 record -- which shouldn't be too bad, seeing that they split the regular season games with Barkley and Saepio (pending .5 innings), the run difference should have SHS in second place. That is, of course, if the league is interested in keeping scores and standings. Stay tuned.

Next Game: Should be the All-Star game, date and time TBD.

* By the by, PRS is an extremely dumb way to determine home field advantage. If you're making a schedule for the season, it would be very easy to say who is the home team.

Grudge Match

Another week down, another Slayer Softball game played. This week it was a grudge match, VML. It's been almost two years since SHS has handed VML a loss and many of the players were looking to turn that trend around.

"I've heard a lot about this rivalry, how exciting," exclaimed Boy Intern. "Good luck without me, I'm a wuss."

So without Boy Intern, the Slayers set their lineup and took the field against the 5-0 VML. Once again, SHS proved their un-worthiness in Paper/Rock/Scissors and fell victim to the gods. VML won home field advantage, Slayers were visitors -- which meant our bats were first.

The first inning started out with a bang as PJer hit a shot into right center that the VML fielder botched -- allowing PJer to scoot over to third base. The Truth slammed a single. DeShawn hit a double. And Coacherson hit a double to set the score at 3-0 after one half inning. VML took to their bats and after a nice defensive effort (minus a lousy triple and a solo shot), SHS led 3-2 after one.

The second inning provided little fanfare for either team as the score remained 3-2 going into the third inning. Unfortunately, SHS' bats wouldn't wake up in the third inning, either. But again, after a nice defensive effort, the score was 4-3 going into the fourth with VML on top.

In the fourth, Ogre showed what he could do with his bat by crushing the ball all the way to the fence for a triple. Fortunately, Bendy scored him on a single and the Slayers had the game tied, 4-4, going into the bottom of the fourth.

With two outs in the inning, Fire decided that she needed to give SHS a spark. For the third out, Fire took a throw at first base and then tackled the baserunner -- or was it that the VML baserunner tackled her? Either way, there was nearly a scuffle as DeShawn was in the mix making sure that it "wasn't cool" for a big dude to tackle a girl.

"Let's see if they like Black Magic tackling them," yelled an angry DeShawn.

WRAM asked, "What the hell does that mean?"

No one on the team could answer her as only DeShawn understood what that meant, but we all agreed. VML needed to go down.

Heading into the top of the 5th inning, the Slayers were down 7-4 and needed to get some runs badly. Things didn't start out well as both PJer and The Truth hit fly outs. Knowing what had to be done, DeShawn took a walk so that SHS could have baserunners. With he and (a battered and bruised) Fire on base, Coacherson again hit a double to draw the score 7-6.

Then the wheels fell off of SHS' softball bus. The defense fell apart and VML took advantage to score 6 more runs, making the score 13-6. The Slayers had one more change to get some runs in the top of the sixth inning, but a 1-2-3 inning wasn't going to do it.

VML, once again, topped SHS. They could possibly meet up in the season-end tourney, and maybe then SHS can snap the streak.

Next Game: SHS vs Barkley, Monday, July 21st @ 8:30

Blast Off

It's your good ol' Slayer Softball Historian reporting in after last night's game. Before it even started, there was some turmoil about when the game would actually start. After some discussion, and another game being rescheduled, it was decided that SHS would play at the originally scheduled time.

Losing the PRS (paper rock scissors) this time was Cap'n Bits, which meant for the fourth time this season, the Slayers were the visiting team. Going up to bat first, PJer wasted no time in showing Barkley who wanted to win more by hitting an in-the-park home run. The Truth got a basehit and so did DeShawn. Fire walked and Coacherson hit into a ground play. WRAM, Ogre and PT all singled and the Slayers were quickly up 3-0 going into the bottom of the first.

The defense was set up in the usual spot this week and we had a new pitcher (Cap'n Bits) due to Bendy being out. Playing superb defense after allowing a few hits to squeeze through, the Slayers were up 3-1 after one.

Back to the top of the lineup after Linds grounded out, JP popped out and then The Truth got another single. DeShawn took a walk (which loaded the bases) and Coacherson fought his instincts to take a walk, too. After clamping down defensively, the Slayers were up 5-1 after two.

The third inning wasn't as rewarding for SHS, but after a few walks and singles, Coacherson hit a line drive double to score DeShawn -- and also provided Fire with a chance to eat shit dive into third.

After the slide, the fans in the dugout had this to say, "what the f!?!" What the f indeed. But hey, she was safe. Another superb defensive bottom half, and the Slayers were up 6-1 after three. That's when SHS got a pep talk from the oddest of characters...

In between eating grass and ice cubes, GrassPlease tore into the Slayers, "ruff ruff, bark bark, ruff." In other words, she was sick of our weak hitting.

SHS responded. PT got a single. Cap'n Bits walked. With the bases loaded, PJer hit a double. The Truth singled. DeShawn walked. Fire walked. Boy Intern doubled. WRAM singled. Ogre singled. And then, the first out of the inning occurred. After that Cap'n Bits doubled. Linds fought off a rude smacktalk to hit a single. Then PJer went yard. The Truth doubled. DeShawn did something and after that we all were going crazy, because going into the bottom of the fourth inning, Slayers were up 24-1.

Yes. 24-1.

The last half inning was a blur. Barkley scored one run. SHS stopped them after that and what do you know, Slayers win! Slayers win!!! They murdered Barkley 24-2. They sit at 3-1-1 on the season. Two games and one half-inning to go until the tournament.

Next Game: GRUDGE MATCH, SHS vs VML, Monday, July 14th @ 8:30