Fairweather Historian?

Is the Slayer season over? Did they win their last two games of the year? Did you die in a horrible car accident where you crashed into a truck transporting glass eyes to and from Albuquerque, NM?

The answers to those questions: no, no and no.

It's true, I've been slacking as of late in the history-telling department. For that I apologize. It might've been the heat, but really it was the lack of will to report on the most recent games. Why is that, you ask? Because it seems that the Slayers have developed a knack of melting down at the end of games...

Case in Point #1: In the most highly anticipated game of the year (for Coacherson), SHS took the field against VML. Luckily for the Slayers, VML had just finished playing a game, therefore they were tired. SHS came out hot, but slowly let VML back in the game as they went ahead 10-8 going into the bottom of the last inning. SHS mustered up 3 straight outs to lose the game. A hard fought victory for VML.

Case in Point #2: As if fate was tempting SHS to win a close game, they were pitted against BR in a rescheduled game from earlier in the season. Once again, the Slayers were playing a team that had just played a game, so they should've been ripe for the plucking. Going into the bottom of the last inning, SHS was up by 4 runs... and then the meltdown occurred. BR came back to tie the game, sending it into extra innings. The Slayers scored one run in the top half, but they couldn't stop BR from getting 2 more in the bottom. The result, BR won 11-10.

So the Slayers ended the regular season 4-4. Not a horrible record, but they could've easily been 7-1 if they could have closed out some games. Taking a .500 record into the postseason isn't a bad thing, though... if you think about it, MLB teams would be ecstatic to be .500. The Slayers want more, though, and they would get their chance in their tournament against Barkley Evergreen Team 1 (a team they beat 9-6 during the regular season).

(Historian's Note: Some details are a bit hazy due to post-game activities)

With the most fans to ever attend a Slayer softball game, SHS took the field first (since they had the better record, they were automatically the home team)... and from the get go, they weren't messing around -- Coacherson had them fired up. After some stellar defense the Slayers were trotting back to the dugout with the score 0-0.

The defense was hot, and their bats were even hotter. PJer had a massive hit barely make it to third base, but he beat the throw -- one duck on the pond. Then The Truth got on base (was it a walk?) leaving two ducks on the pond for King Bunz (second place in this year's home run derby). Bunz made contact and due to some fine coaching from "Hey" Craig and Jerom"eo," the Slayers were up 2-0. With the King on base, Where My Bitches At stepped up to the plate and cracked one over the right fielders head. The coaches sent him and soon enough he had himself an in the park home run. SHS was on top 4-0.

Coming off of a win on Tuesday night, BEAP1 wasn't ready to lay down and go out quietly. With two outs and the bases loaded, they scrapped and scored two runs... and then "the tackle" happened. Already back to the top of the lineup, the second baseman for BEAP comes up to the plate. She hits a blooper that lands nearly on the line between first and home plate. As she's running to first, McShit charged for the ball to throw her out. She began to stumble (or so McShit says) and as he's reaching for the ball, McShit tackled her they collide. Nothing happened for about five seconds until McShit grabbed the ball -- which was still in fair play -- and tagged her. Bill called her out and the Slayers escaped a dangerous inning, still up 4-2.

After a marvelous play, it was McShit's turn to bat... and he strikes out. Yes, strikes out. That didn't bode well for the Slayers, it was a three-up, three-down inning. Then BEAP1 came alive and scored four runs to take the lead, 6-4.

Back at the top of the lineup, the Slayers pounced. After four of the first five batters scored, Coacherson knocked a single to that sent Where My Bitches Out home. Stuck on first, Number 2 came up and hit a ball right to the shortstop. Knowing the force was coming, Coacherson got a good step on the ball and rattled the shortstop -- he threw it, but it was already too late, Coacherson somehow ended up on the ground, safe. "He's not happy unless he gets dirty... and boy is he dirty," exclaimed The Truth.

With two outs and both Coacherson and Number 2 on base, McShit got his revenge. "Didn't this guy strike out last time," asked the second basemen that McShit tackled ran into. He didn't strike out this time, he hit an inside the park home run. That stellar inning left SHS up 11-6.

Then a mini-meltdown started to happen. McShit walked two guys allowing some runs to score. But the Slayers were strong and held their ground, only letting BEAP1 to score three runs. 11-9.

Again at the top of the lineup, the first seven batters scored. McShit hit another in the park home run and the Slayers were in control 20-9. Since that was the bottom of the fourth inning, the mercy rule wasn't in effect (the game is called if a team is up 15 after three innings, or 10 after five).

Looking to cruise through the rest of the game, the Slayers may have taken their edge off a little bit... and that's when they dropped their guard completely. A missed catch here, an overthrow there, miscommunication galore... errors were being tossed around like shots from the Jager Fairy. The ship was sinking and it looked like the bats were going to have to come back out to secure a win. Then Bill said that the time limit had expired, so if the Slayers were up at the end of the inning, they won. The score was now 20-17, there were two outs and BEAP1 had two runners on base. A guy came up to the plate and crushed the ball into left center field. "Hey" Craig started to float left, but quickly had to turn on some jets to get to the right spot... he slowed down, reached out, and snagged the ball for the final out of the game.

SLAYERS WIN!!! SLAYERS WIN!!!

It was an extremely hard fought match, but the Slayers prevailed against the odds they dealt themselves. The SHS ring-leader, Jage, took the team out to celebrate afterwards, knowing that the worst the Slayers could end up as is a .500 team.

Next Up: The Chiefs, 7:00 Tuesday night. Think SHS has a chance? You bet they do... the Slayers held them to their lowest offensive output all season in an extremely close game.