Tournament Time: One and Done

Sadly enough, the inagrual Slayer Softball season is over. No fanfare. No fireworks. Not even a thoroughly fair game was played.

TUG SAID: "Cheaters never win and winners never cheat." Hope they enjoy their no winning nothing, bottom-feeder softball league win. Cheaters.

Meeting VML (Team 2) for the third time in three weeks didn't bode so well this time around. After beating them 32-6 in game one, and muscling out a one-run win in game two (when VML had players from other teams playing), team SHS couldn't find an empty hole in the field, or get their bats rattling enough to overcome a team that is apparently "peaking at the right time."

TUG SAID: If by "peaking" they mean ... Oh, wait, just read the following paragraph.

And by "peaking," they mean "bringing quite a few of their Team 1 players to the game." Seriously. Of the 12 players that took the field against us, five of them had played against us the other two times. Five. That's not peaking, that's stacking. When Coacherson asked several of his old co-workers how many times their team had played us this season, none of them could answer.

TUG SAID: Sons-of-bitches.

Even though VML felt the urge to stack the team (with players from their 9-1 team), that didn't mean that SHS was going to roll over and give up. In fact, quite the opposite. Playing in one of their best defensive games of the season, the game was always within reach for either team to win. A few see-saw plays here and there and the outcome could've been different.

In the end, SHS didn't score the last three innnings of the game and wound up a four-run loser to VML, 10-6.

TUG SAID: It was a tough game we played. I submit that our fielding was the best we've exhibited all season. We simply didn't have the bats.

This time it wasn't Wegerer's fault, he showed up shortly after the game.

TUG SAID: I still blame him.

Third time's the charmiest!

Beating a team is sometimes a hard thing to do. Beating that same team twice in one week is a harder thing to do. But to beat the same team three times in one week, and, ultimately, twice in one day... now that's something to be excited about.

After molesting VML 32-6 on Monday night, the same two teams (said with a grain of salt, because VML's team was a bit different and much more competitive) met up for their third "match" of the week.* But the SHS team wasn't quite the same, either. Both Neil (business travel) and Heath (strained hammy) sat out of the game, leaving it up to Tug and the rest of his motley crue to inflict as much pain on VML as possible.

"I'll be honest with you, I hate pitching," said an enraged McTighe in the third inning, just after Bill (the lone, century-old, umpire) called Tug a bitch. "I about had "The Gentile One" (Ben Coldwell) punch him out. Bill's lucky we won."

The game was a much closer one than Monday night. Both teams either tied the game or took the lead each time they batted. Several of the SHSers thought it was going to be a cake-walk... "I need to go tanning," exclaimed Kim "Nevada" Cook, after picking up her fourth RBI of the season.

But in the end, nothing could stop SHS. The fact that VML brought in one of their A-team (record is 9-1) ringers and two Osborn-Barr ringers, didn't help. Not even the fact that Ashley "4:50" Sloan somehow had a contact incident. Even the secret weapon of Rex, couldn't unrail SHS.

Chalk up two more in-the-park homers the team (Mandy and Coacherson), a game-winning RBI for Mandy and a solid performance for McTighe... and that equals up to a bottom-of-the-fifth-inning, 12-11 win for SHS.

With that win, SHS finishes the regular season 7-3 and tied for first place of the Tuesday/Thursday division. For tournament-seeding, a coin toss gave us second place and we play the winner of VML/BEAP next Thursday at 7:00.

Up soon, the All-Star game and home run derby!

* Matches one and three were on the softball field. Match two was in the RFP world for UMB.com, also won by SHS. :)

Somebody Call All Our Mommas...

...'cause someone just got whipped! Drubbed. Spanked. Slammed. Destroyed, more like it.

Yes, the bats were alive for SHS tonight, and a fourth rain-out couldn't save VML (team two) from the onslaught that was Monday night. "It hurt... bad," said Bunz Kennedy, about mega-f'ing his leg up while running home on his THIRD IN THE PARK HOME RUN.

Kennedy wasn't SHS' only offense tonight, though. Everyone took part... everyone. Let's run through some highlights:

• Bunz Kennedy - Three in the park home runs


• Gentle Ben - Two in the park home runs


• Kim "Nevada" Cook - 2 for 4 with 3 RBIs


• Coacherson - Hit for the cycle, SHS' second out of parker


• Mandy "What???" Shannon - Two triples and a double


• McTighe - Two great innings of relief pitching (in preparation for Thursday), one great box joke


• Can't... remember... it... all...

The deal is, we won. Big. 32-6, big. Ouch. Don't believe us? Check out the Seedboard up above. Seedboards don't lie.

Rematch Thursday, get ready.